Me)

I live with so many challenges everyday that most can’t see....I find out things sometimes that are best left unknown...I can’t speak of the ones I love to others to protect them the most. I miss so many things and so many people at various different times for various different reasons. I don’t always make the brightest decisions but those who truly know me know that I am a good person with an honest heart that sometimes falls and yes, can hurt others. I have paid dearly for my mistakes by loosing so many things including you, but those are things I never wanted to loose the ones who meant the most. Now the only real reason I choose to acknowledge it is because of you. I don’t need gifts or babbles I don’t really care I have the things in life I need.
I don’t feel safe and I don’t feel secure, I guess I never did. By being me means you carry with more worries then one can generally handle, I worry about more than I need to, I take on battles that I shouldn’t have to only to help those that really need it. When then does it come to a point where enough is enough, I have reached enough. I have come to the end of a long road I don’t care to go on again. I found truths that hurt so deep that an average person would use them as an excuse. Being alone is simple, being secluded is easier but in no way the right way to live. My decisions will come my path is changing tomorrow is harder to face then yesterday, now is harder to understand then an hour ago. I can’t rest and I cant be peaceful, some say just let it all go and it will find its way those people don’t know me and don’t know what I have to loose if I trip. I guess babbling doesn’t get you anywhere right, yes I’m sure it will all turn out alright. I just don’t have that faith that helps me usually. Right now is just not a good time. Not anymore and maybe never again.